Subtitle: How To Not Be Hated By The Person Who Answers The Phones.
- Required information: name, organisation (if applicable), phone number, brief statement of your business. The order is not important, but it must all be there. Feel free to ramble a bit – I’d rather have too much info than too little. For bonus points include the name of the person you spoke to before. Extra bonus points: when it was that you called.
- Speak clearly and slowly – I’m trying to write this down, ok? This is particularly important for the phone number – I will not like you if I have to play the message 7 times to get all the numbers down, and then 3 more times to make sure I’ve got it right. Bonus points: repeat the phone number so that I can check it right then, without having to sit through the rest of your message again.
- Speak up. Or I won’t be able to hear a word when there are people and conversations and noises in all directions. Don’t worry about being too loud – a) I can move away, and b) you shouldn’t be saying anything embarrassing, we’re not a doctor’s office. Also, I look ridiculous standing there with my ear on the phone charger/speaker, arse in the air, desperately waving at people to be quiet.
- You need to tell me what you’re calling about, so that I don’t call you back and find out that you actually wanted to talk to someone else who isn’t in yet. If you’d just said what it was about, we wouldn’t both be wasting our time now. Also, if I know what you want, I can pre-load the important emails/webpages/documents I’ll need to refer to during your call. This is a tiny, broke not-for-profit with crap computers, so each email/webpage/document will add about 3 minutes to the call. And I have better things to do, like make baskets. And wear them on my head like a crazy person*:
(This seemed to be the best way to a) display the hanging-down bits at the bottom of the basket, b) without displaying the current mess in my living room. Also, it’s been a long day :P)
How NOT to leave a phone message:
“Oh, hi… this is Jane… Can you call me back… My number is ohfouronetwothreefourfivesixseveneight”
Seriously, I got this message today. *Head-desk* (Name and number changed, mainly because ten hours later I can’t remember a f*@#&ing thing that happened this morning)